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Home » Family Articles » Top 10 Secrets To Avoiding Marital Money Chaos

Top 10 Secrets to Avoiding "Marital Money Chaos©"

Money can wreck a relationship. In fact, how they spend, save, and account for money is one of the leading sources of disagreements between couples. In almost every study, money ranks as the first or second most argued-about topic for couples and partners. If you currently suffer from "Marital Money Chaos©" you can follow these secrets and achieve more financial success together than you ever could have dreamed. If the two of you can improve your relationship with money, you will also improve your marriage. Money can be romantic!

Secret #1: Know your spending style and your partners'

How many of you are married to your "Financial Soul Mate"?

The most common are spending styles are Spenders and Savers but there are also the Procrastinators/Avoiders/Deal with it Tomorrow types and the Money Meek/Humble/ personalities.

What are the benefits/good things about each style? What are the things you call your partner when you fight about money?

Find ways in which you can take advantage of your personality strengths and minimize the weaknesses of that style. In the best possible scenario, you will both acknowledge your differences and move to the middle.

Secret #2: Values Driven Spending

Values are different than goals

Values: Creativity, Freedom, Friendship, Financial Security

Goals: Be debt free, get a new car, and give more to charity

Take some time to choose your top 5 values and define each of them in your own words. Share the definitions and use them to understand your partner and what is important to them. If your partner's money behavior confuses you, ask which value they are satisfying. They may be doing their best, but their definition is different than yours. If you both use the same value word but have different meanings, you'll have conflict.

Secret #3: Have regular Money Meetings or Money Dates!

How many of you think that money is romantic? Actually, since couples fight more about money than anything else (it is estimated that 80% of divorces are the result of money disagreements), having an honest talk about household finances might be better for your relationship than anything else you can do! Financial well-being and peace of mind are certainly romantic!

It doesn't matter how much money people have, money is a daily event. That increases the chance of it triggering arguments and tension. Use regular meetings as a way to avoid conflict

Secret #4: Enjoy the present and save for the future

Everyone needs to have their own play money. Ideally 5-10% of your family's income should be set aside for play. What's the use of working every day if you don't get to spend some money on play?

Secret #5: Have a needs/wish list for each person and for the family

We all have things we wish we had and those we need to purchase. Check your list on a regular basis so your subconscious can focus on other things. It's also great fun to check off the things you take care of. Great place to go to find out how to spend bonuses or other windfalls.

Secret #6: Divide financial responsibilities between partners

Focus on each person's skills, interests and availability rather than relying on out-dated gender stereotypes or how much money one partner makes. Share what's going on with your partner during your monthly meetings and make big decisions together.

Secret #7: Each person has some money they do not have to account for/

This is probably one of the MOST important things you can do for your relationship. No grown up likes to have to ask for an allowance or justify every little expenditure they make. Determine in advance how much money each person can "do with what they will" and no questions asked. Savers can save, spenders can spend, procrastinators can leave it in a jar and the money meek can feel free to give it all away.

Secret #8: Take action, one step at a time

I can guarantee that you will save $1000 1 year from today if you put away just $2.74 per day. Where can you find $2.74 each and every day? Do the same with larger goals. If you want to go on a $2000 vacation next year, save $6 per day.

Secret #9: Learn something about money and finances every day

There are lots of good resources out there â€" websites, books, magazines, classes. You can start at my website: www.cindymorus.com where I have articles, calculators, book reviews and teleclass schedules.

Secret #10: Plan your spending and spend your plan

I know, no one likes the "B" word (I call them spending plans) because they feel restrictive. Instead, plan your spending ahead of time and give yourself permission to spend money in certain areas and get creative about the areas where you choose to spend less. When we feel like "going out" at our house, we have "no silverware dinner" of ribs, french-fries and artichokes. We spend the time enjoying ourselves and creating memories without spending a lot of money. I bet you can do the same!

(c) Phelps Creek Financial Coaching - All Rights Reserved

And here is another random article you might be interested in...

Why Should You Have a Business Vision?

Remember when you first started your new business? You were excited and raring to go! You printed business cards, you created a business name and decided how much money you wanted to make. Then there was the honeymoon period. You were excited to get out of bed in the morning, get to your computer, make those appointments and follow up with new clients.

Then you found yourself tired, cranky and discouraged with the way things were going:fewer and fewer appointments, less energy and even less enjoyment with what your business is.

What happened?

What happened is that you did not have a vision for your business. What is a business vision and why do you need one, you ask? A business vision is how your business not only impacts you, but also the world. With a business vision everything you do each and every day supports you to go forward, achieve what you want, yet still benefit others.

Simple visions are the best. The easier they are to communicate to someone, the more essential they become to you and your business. You need a vision to be more effective, more desirable and more attractive to your clients or customers. Clarity is the key in a simple vision. Yet, a simple vision can be very profound.

Remember Mother Teresa? She just wanted to help the poor, and she ultimately became a saint in the Roman Catholic Church. It all started with a simple vision: easy to communicate to others and her willingness to do whatever it took to get her vision seen and heard by others.

So will you. You too will get your vision heard and seen by others.

Joanne's Vision Gem

"With a true business vision, all your decisions are easily made, because all your decisions are in alignment with your vision."

"What Am You Going to Do Today?"

When you wake up and get out of bed and ask yourself, "What am I going to do today?" the existence of a business vision reduces this ever-present stressful question.

Everything you do, the people you talk to, the clients you attract are all a result of your vision. Why? You have strategies to support your vision.

The more powerful and vivid the Vision, the more opportunities occur to create the strategies to build your business success.

Real Vision is about the Dream: it is what you truly want your business to be. Vision with a Capital V is about the impact your business will have on your community, the world and your life.

It is about the relationship with yourself, of how you see yourself.

It is how you want your business to be seen by others.

The value of having a vision is to know what difference you can make in peoples' lives.

Stop thinking small and start thinking big. Why?

Joanne's Vision Gem:

"You will never have the professional and personal success you desire unless you have a far-reaching vision for your business and your life."

Remember, to keep your life and business a success, a vision is vital. A clearly defined business vision will consistently support you to get out of bed each and every day with a purpose in mind. Create your business vision, a Vision With a Capital V, and see your life expand.