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Home » Family Articles » The Frustrations And Rewards Of Parenting Teenagers

The Frustrations and Rewards of Parenting Teenagers

Most parents - whether they admit it or not - react to the onset of their child's teenage years with either trepidation or absolute dread. We look back to our own teenage years, and wonder how our parents lived through our fads, our raging hormones, our rebellion, and our attitudes. It's almost as though, overnight, our parents went from knowing everything to knowing nothing, from understanding our hopes and dreams to being clueless about who we are and what we want out of life. Looking back, we know that parenting teenagers is no cakewalk, and can't begin to imagine how we'll survive the ordeal.

If only there was a parent handbook or parent directory, teens would be so much easier to raise. Even a family newsletter with tips and hints would be welcomed and make us feel as though we're not alone in our journey. There's never a doubt that we want what's best for our children, but what are we supposed to do when we lose our equanimity and get sucked into yet another argument about friends or clothes or the car? Is there any hope of ever having another enjoyable family vacation? How do we know when our teenager just has the blues and when he or she is clinically depressed? If it's the latter, what are the skills involved in parenting troubled teens?

Although we may approach our child's teenage years with dread, the truth is that parenting teenagers can be rewarding. Here are four tips to get through those teenage years.

1. Acknowledge our power. Although our teens would be loath to admit it, we still wield an enormous amount of influence over them. We may not think they're listening to us, but they are. During stressful times when we're tempted to take the bait and lay down ultimatums or get into an argument, it's important to remember that we're still role models for our teens. The more often we take the high road, the more they'll benefit.

2. Loosen the apron strings. It's difficult to accept that the purpose of the teenage years is to separate and differentiate from parents. When our teenagers begin to develop their own personal tastes and opinions, and especially when they want to be treated "as adults," it's hard to find the right balance between maintaining control and allowing them to nurture their individuality. We have the right and the obligation to set rules and standards, but we can't set them arbitrarily. If our teens demonstrate that they're trustworthy, we must give them room to grow.

3. Be vigilant. It's difficult to imagine that parenting teenagers is more difficult than parenting toddlers, but it's true. We may have loosened the apron strings, but that doesn't mean we should let go. All teenagers have secrets, and it's our job to make sure that our teens' secrets don't have the potential to harm themselves or others. That doesn't mean snooping (trust goes both ways), but it does mean staying involved in and aware of their activities and friends.

4. Listen with our ears and our hearts. Teenagers are notoriously uncommunicative, so listening is doubly important. This means listening both when they're speaking and when they're not. As the saying goes, silence can speak volumes, so it's crucial to learn to interpret the different kinds of silence. We also need to learn to listen by asking. This doesn't mean hounding our teens with questions, but asking their opinions and truly hearing what they have to say - without passing judgment or correcting them. All teens seek acceptance, and although most go through periods of feeling acceptance is lacking from their peers, we can fill in the gaps.

There's no doubt that parenting teenagers is incredibly challenging. And the reality is that we may not see the fruits of our efforts for several years. But when we devote the time and develop the skills to effectively parent our teens, we will experience the rewards, both now and in the future.

And here is another random article you might be interested in...

Contractors...Double Your Income

5 Simple Ways to Double Your Income Immediately

So you think that you are just like your competition? Well, then it is time to differentiate yourself. As a contractor, you probably use the same types of materials as your competitors do...so how can you differentiate yourself? Service! Build it better and serve your clients better. You will come out on top. This may seem so simple, yet very few contractors really do things better than their competitors.

So what are 5 simple ways that can double your income? Here they are...

1. Use only high quality subcontractors. It costs you less in time and rework costs to use quality subcontractors the first time. You may think you are going to save a few dollars by hiring the cheapest one, but in the end we all know it doesn't work out that way. We pay for what we get. What's quality service and product worth to your reputation? Priceless!

2. Implement a service mentality. Everything you do is for the benefit of your homebuyers. Don't keep it to yourself...tell everyone you know about the way you build your houses and the benefits that you provide to your homebuyers.

a. Don't think there are benefits?? Think again...everything that you do in the construction of your homes can be portrayed as a benefit to your homebuyers. All it takes is a little creative communication.

3. Offer a referral program. People buy from people they know. How do you incentivize your homeowners to tell others? The first way is to build an awesome house and that will speak for itself...but add some icing to that cake by rewarding your homebuyers for their efforts to grow your business. It can be simple things like gift certificates, lawn services for a month, extended warranties, or other motivational offerings. It's cheaper to reward your customers for promoting you than advertising to the general public!

4. Market your business consistently. Everyone expects you to have a website...so don't let them down. You can have a GREAT website designed and hosted for a nominal amount that will bring great returns to you on recognition and sales within your community. Show the quality that you build into your homes and stress the benefits to your potential buyers in the most cost-effective medium available, the World Wide Web.

5. Network, Network, Network! Don't keep your great offerings to yourself. Get out there and build relationships with those who can promote your homes! You can't be everything to your business. So look at those you do business with (vendors, subcontractors, real estate professionals, etc) and see how you can build referral networks. This is the best way to cost-effectively cross-promote your businesses. Plus people trust referrals from others higher than self-promotion, so it is a win-win opportunity.

The returns that your business will get on these 5 tips will more than double your income if implemented correctly. You can't sit back and hope that your business grows. You've got to make it happen! Success happens because of a well-constructed plan...not by chance. It's a choice...you choose to make it happen, or not. What's your choice? Go out and double your income now!

Copyright 2005 Pam Newman