• Business and Finance
• Family
• Computers and Internet
• Auto and Trucks
• Education
• Health
• Hobbies
• Home Improvement
• Legal
• Marketing

• Home
• Arthur's Articles Home
• Browse Categories
• Browse Authors
• Submit an Article
• Search for Articles

Home » Family Articles » 18 Hilarious Parenting Quotes To Celebrate Parents Day

18 Hilarious Parenting Quotes to Celebrate Parents' Day

Parents' Day is right around the corner and what better way to celebrate than with some funny and humorous parenting quotes? After all, if there's one thing parents deserve, it's a good laugh every now and then. These 18 hilarious parenting quotes are sure to crack smiles on the faces of moms and dads everywhere.

1. "A truly appreciative child will break, lose, spoil, or fondle to death any really successful gift within a matter of minutes." ~ Russell Lynes

2. "The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." ~ Lane Olinhouse

3. "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~ Erma Bombeck

4. "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." ~ Bill Cosby

5. "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones

6. "Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own." ~ Doug Larson.

7. "A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." ~ Bill Vaughan.

8. "In the little world in which children have their existence, whosoever brings them up, there is nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt as injustice." ~ Charles Dickens

9. "It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner." ~ Ben Bergor

10. "The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy." ~ Author Unknown

11. "Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." ~ Michelle Pfeiffer

12. "The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet." ~ Bill Cosby

13. "Mothers are all slightly insane." ~ J.D. Salinger

14. "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." ~ Calvin Trillin

15. "If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berle

16. "Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner

17. "Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth." ~ Peter Ustinov

18. "Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." ~ Joyce Armor

And here is another random article you might be interested in...

Why Are Duopolies So Competitive?

Duopolies can be surprisingly competitive. If you remember that the price of a product or service is determined solely by the highest losing bid price and the lowest losing ask price, you'll realize why a duopoly can be so competitive. A large number of inefficient competitors will have almost no affect on prices in the long run unless someone (either a government or a group of idiotic investors) is willing to continually finance unprofitable operations in an unprofitable industry (think airlines).

Of course, there is always the fear of a price fixing scheme in a duopoly. Generally, however, that fear is unfounded. Human nature suggests a price fixing scheme is far more likely to occur in an oligopoly than a duopoly. Humans weight the fear of loss far more heavily than the greed of gain when making calculations about the future. In a duopoly, mistrust increases the fear of loss inherent to any price fixing scheme (namely, the other guy will stab you in the back). In an oligopoly, the diffusion of power and the lack of excess capacity at any one firm makes price fixing very attractive. Price fixing in an oligopoly is a much safer bet than price fixing in a duopoly.

There are, of course, other reasons why a duopoly is very unlikely to result in a price fixing scheme. In addition to a healthy does of fear, there is an often unhealthy does of hate in duopolies. There is always just one scapegoat in a duopoly. Hatred is a personal emotion; if spread over too many objects it tends to wane away. Finally, there's the simple fact that both competitors in a duopoly are likely really big, really agile, really cutthroat players. The process leading up to a duopoly tends to be a sort of wolfing run, in which two pups are separated from the runts.

Having said all that, price fixing is possible in a duopoly. Some duopolies are not the result of competition but of nationalization and privatization, although this is relatively rare since a nationalized monopoly won't often result in a lasting duopoly (it will either remain a monopoly once privatized or get crushed by new, private competitors).

Finally, a price fixing scheme always makes more sense in a commodity business. After all, any product differentiation limits the degree to which general demand is applicable to specific competitors' products. For example, Coke and Pepsi are highly differentiated products, at least when purchased in their specific packaging (physical differences or similarities are immaterial here; it is only the buyer's belief that matters). I drink Pepsi, and I can assure you (however irrational it sounds) that no drop in the price of Coke would be sufficient to get me to stop buying Pepsi. There is almost no other tangible good about which I could say the same. So, clearly Coke and Pepsi are differentiated products, and there's very little chance of an effective price fixing scheme between them.

Copyright 2006 Geoff Gannon