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Home » Business And Finance Articles » Celebrating Successes The Power Of Compliments

Celebrating Successes: The Power Of Compliments

Years ago, when I was new in management circles, a veteran administrator decided to share his self-described secret of success. He said: You have to be careful, Bill. I*ve learned not to compliment my people. Makes them too self-assured, and they get lax in their work habits. Better to keep them guessing.

As I listened, I uttered silent thanks, grateful that Don was a professional acquaintance--and not my boss. Both intuitively and from experience, I knew that managers build loyalty when they celebrate their employees* successes with compliments.

To use a familiar analogy, criticism has the same impact on people that salt does on plants. Stated positively, compliments act as nutrients for people, just as fertilizer does for flowers.

Having played golf for several decades, I remember the teaching professionals who helped me the least--and the most. The least helpful were those who spent the whole half hour describing my faults: bending your left arm. . .not enough weight shift. . . tempo is too fast. Jim, my favorite pro, accents the positives: swinging better than last time. . .hit that shot really square . . .now that*s the way to finish in balance. Not surprisingly, I wanted to swing better for Jim.

When I think of compliments, I remember my father*s advice. For forty years, he managed a sizable department store. When I took my first supervisory position in higher education, he counseled me: Bill, one thing I have learned is that workers perform better when we let them know we appreciate their performance. Remember to commend those who do well. Then they*ll keep improving.

During the twenty-three years I spent as a department head, I followed his recommendation. Even a simple comment--You did a good job drafting those letters--boosted morale and cultivated organizational loyalty.

As a communication specialist, there are several tips I will share about using compliments.

Avoid flattery, say no more than the situation merits. While flattery exaggerates our evaluation, the compliment reflects our honest opinion. For example, if you choose to tell an employee that she handled that customer superbly, better than anyone else could possibly have done, she might silently question your authenticity. A more believable comment: I liked the way you helped that customer. I*m sure you made a good impression she will remember.

An employee--just like a friend or family member--detects shallow praise. Fortunately, when you have deep convictions about the praise you extend, co-workers will sense your authenticity.

This leads to a second characteristic of a compliment: It sounds realistic. If somebody told me that I am a wonderful dancer, I might laugh out loud. Sadly, so would my wife, who has endured my errant feet for a long time.

Be timely in issuing compliments. We should give the compliment almost immediately after the event that prompts our praise. Imagine that on Tuesday Dorothy makes the biggest sale she has ever made. Clearly, her training has brought beautiful results. Even fellow employees admire her accomplishments with this order.

If you wait until Friday to compliment her, you*ve lost a grand opportunity. Give her your attention before Tuesday ends, while she*s still aglow with pride. Try this: Dorothy, I think you noticed that all of us were delighted with that special order you handled today. You*ve made lots of progress, and it shows.

Another tip: Issue compliments in moderation. Managers lose credibility when they praise employees too frequently. Like the most gorgeous flower, a compliment becomes grander with irregular appearance. No, we can*t go as far as my colleague Don, never issuing favorable comments. However, good judgment will help us find the reasonable pacing that works.

Again: Use compliments in proper context. When you tell Fred late in the day that he is one of your most dependable people, your compliment becomes suspect when you add: Oh, by the way, Fred, you*re supposed to have Saturday off, but I*m going to have to ask you to come in then to help us handle those weekend wedding orders. Any time a compliment appears manipulative, it loses force. . .and we lose face.

Yes, compliments can be chancy. Some employees might accuse us of playing favorites, being too syrupy, or trying to win favor for our hidden agendas. Risky, that*s true. . .but worth the risk.

When you become known for offering genuine, realistic compliments in moderation, at the right time, and in the proper setting, you*ll notice your employees responding positively. In fact, they will compliment you for your thoughtfulness and encouragement.

And here is another random article you might be interested in...

Life's True ROI

al debt load and ROI, whether the industry as a whole is in a slump, whether there are too many partner or legal problems, whether future demand will materialize and so on and so forth. While these questions are certainly relevant, the most important question that a small or medium-sized business owner should ask him/herself is:

"How else can I make a living and would I like it?"

Yes, the advantages of being a corporate employee are great. Easy work, fewer hours, no stress, more security and all for more money than your struggling business (for now) can provide. But do you really want to go back to that?

My grandfather was an architect who built boring glass boxes in overcrowded and polluted cities for obnoxious, cheap and arrogant millionaire and billionaire bosses and clients. My grandfather was also a poet who loved to write short, life-affirming sayings that raised the soul and redeemed the human spirit.

He was on his way to making large amounts of money building these glass boxes, until one day he could no longer handle it another minute, so he stood up in a meeting while the billionaires were bickering, declared that he was quitting, packed up his office and drove home to my grandmother and their two young children.

The conversation at home went something like this:

"What the heck were you thinking?"

"I cant go back Alice, I just cant. That world is slowly killing my soul by the minute. I want to breathe, I want to live, I want to smile and I want to laugh."

"How are we going to afford the mortgage and the BMWs and the vacation home and the kids college funds and ..."

"We will figure it out tomorrow."

They figured it out. Grandpa turned his love for poetry into cute little life affirming sayings that he wrote in greeting cards and on the headings of agendas and in small self- published books that barely sold enough copies to pay for the paper they were printed on. In his best year, my grandfather made just enough money to barely creep over the poverty line.

Many years afterwards, seeing me stressed out over some inane thing or the other at the big corporation I worked for (in one of those big glass boxes), my grandfather said:

"Are they killing your soul Charlie? Are they taking away what makes your heart fly and your mind shine and your eyes sing?" (I told you Grandpa was a poet).

"I think they are, Grandpa." I said, almost in tears.

"You will only be here for a short time, Charlie. Dont let anyone take away your joy for even one minute of your precious life." (Once again, I told you Grandpa was a poet)

This brings me back to the topic of this article. Yes, Business owner, you should do all the analysis that you can to decide if you should keep your business alive. There are lots of services, ranging in price from free to millions of dollars, that will help you decide if there is a future for your business.

But in your analysis, when adding up the pluses and minuses and comparing financial and personal gains and losses, do one thing. Add the issue of "How else can I make a living and would I like it?" to the equation and give that topic an important score in your analysis.

Grandpa never regretted having less money for a much more fulfilling life. Nor did grandma once she realized how much happier the whole family was once they were living a less stressful and more simplified life in a healthy and scenic part of the country. One year after his decision, and in celebration, my grandparents burned their "___ Hours til the weekend" and "___ Days til retirement" gag calendars they had received when Grandpa had started his corporate career.

So dear reader, before you throw in the towel, I, the business consultant, and my grandfather, the lover of life, professionally advise you to make sure the towel remaining is better than the one you want to throw away.